"The Years Start Coming and They Don't Stop Coming "

Ahh, the classic New Year’s guilt trip—where we recall everything we messed up in the last 365 days and convince ourselves we need to become completely new people to avoid more shame in the year ahead.

What if this year, we tried something different? What if we made ourselves focus on everything we were grateful for in the past year and said, "I’m going to look for more of that in the next year"? That seems a lot easier than pretending we’ll change our entire being in a few days, only to have that resolution crumble after three weeks, leaving us with more disappointment.

In honor of this “New Year, More Me” mentality, I’ve created a short list of things I’m grateful for in 2024 that I want to see more of in 2025.

1. Happy Dogs

As I write this, my own happy pup, Nelson, is nudging my hand, urging me to quit typing and give him some love. So, I did just that. And guess what? I didn’t feel guilty for pausing my work or annoyed by his constant pestering. I gave him a few scratches, watched his eyes fill with gratitude, and felt my own heart swell with joy. Nothing boosts my own happiness more quickly than acknowledging a happy pup and sharing in their excitement for life. So, 2025, bring on more dogs.

2. Deep Connections

One of the most incredible gifts writing has given me is the opportunity for deep, human connection. I never realized how vital it was to explore my creativity so vulnerably until I shared The Mermaid and The Moon. Friends, acquaintances, and even strangers reached out to tell me how much my writing had touched and inspired them.

My favorite part? Hearing which pieces resonated with each person.  I found it fascinating how, in sharing such a small part of myself, I could make someone feel seen and in turn make that small part of me feel seen as well. This has been one of the most beautiful and transformative experiences of my life. As someone who has often feared being "too serious" or "too deep," this year has taught me to embrace those qualities. In 2025, I hope to connect connect even further, inspire more, and grow closer to my most genuine self.

3.) Centering friendships

In 2023, I bought a house, and in 2024, I turned that house into a home. For the longest time, I envied those who were able to do this with a romantic partner. As proud as I was of everything I had accomplished, it pained me that I didn't have anyone to share my accomplishments with. One day, it dawned on me that not only was I wrong about having done it all alone, I was actually missing out on the possibility of shared joy by assuming I could only do big things with a romantic partner. For example, I looked around at my walls, covered in artwork that I had tactfully displayed, and I realized that almost every piece came from a loved one. From the vintage western saddle photography that an old friend's sister gifted me almost 14 years ago because "it reminded her of me" to the handcrafted poetry print written by a friend who just couldn't stop thinking about a wonderful Sunday we had had together, I had had help all along. Sure, I was on my own a lot when it came to taking care of a house, but the people around me and the relationships I fostered are what made the house a home. I also found that, when I did start acknowledging how close and important the relationships I had were, I realized it was a lot easier to ask those people for help. In turn, I had people to share in new projects and new successes with. This year, I want to continue to foster those relationships and ensure that I show up for all my loved ones, ensuring they know how valuable they are to me.

4.) Adventure

Truth be told, I'm scared of a lot of things. I don't really like heights, spiders freak me the fuck out, and I have a nightlight in every room for a reason. That being said, I love to challenge my own fears. The rewards are always worth the difficulty. I learned this year that true adventure, and worthwhile adventure, meant I had to start using my gut a lot more. Surfing has helped me to strengthen that gut-action connection more than anything else in my life, and I am so grateful for that. This next year, I hope to trust myself to take even greater risks with the help of that strong intuition I have come to appreciate and trust.

5.) Laughter

Last, and certainly not least, I am so grateful for the pure joy and belly laughs I've had this year. I spent so many years stricken with grief, unable to fully breach the surface of joy again, and, man, I will never take deep laughter for granted in the future. Over the holidays, my nephew made us both laugh until we couldn't breathe, all with a made-up phrase, "bubble juice." I could not tell you why this was so funny, and honestly, I don't think he had any idea as to what he was trying to say, but the silliness between us brought me so much joy. 2025, get ready to hear me laugh hard and loud over the stupidest shit you could imagine.

2024 wasn't perfect, and, shit, neither was this year's version of me, but even writing this list and acknowledging the happiness I have felt in the past year has made me more excited than any "New Year, New Life plan" of years past. I hope after reading this, you can take the time to ask yourself: "What made me smile this year?" and get ready to search wherever you need for more of that.

Feel free to share your thoughts down below.

As always, stay kind, babes. I’ll see you next month.

Garlic Cold and Flu Shots

For when your 2 y/o nephew/niece/cousin or fully adult neighbor coughs at your face

Ingredients

3 Oz Hot water

At least a TBL spoon of fresh or frozen ginger (I use the Trader Joes frozen cubes)

At least a TBL spoon or 3 cloves of fresh or frozen garlic (I use I use the Trader Joes frozen cubes)

At least a TBL spoon of fresh or frozen turmeric(you can use powder for this one if you must)

A few squeezes of lemon

Instructions

>bring water to at leas 218 deg.

>add ingredients starting with ginger, garlic, turmeric, and drops of lemon on top

>wait until slightly cool

>toss her back and hope for the best

*Add a little honey if it's too much or a bit of cayenne if you want an extra kick

**I do recommend taking these at night so you don't smell like garlic all day (ok I don't actually recommend this, but the people who spend enough time around me during the day do)

"Confident Counterfeit"

In the shadows it lurks

A new irrational fear asserts

Am I who I need to be

No patience left to wait and see

Can I shed what’s left of the person that came before

Tattered doubts littering the floor

There’s new strength looking back at me in the mirror

Hesitation has never made its way near her

Surefooted and honest

She's aware of what her purpose is

Is she who I see when I tear off the webs of my own bullshit

Or is her face just a mask, a confident counterfeit

Feel free to share your thoughts down below.

As always, stay kind, babes. I’ll see you next month.

The Best Broth

For an anxious belly

Ingredients

Hot water

At least a TBL spoon of ginger (I use the Trader Joes frozen cubes)

At least a TBL spoon of white miso (Your local H&L is your best bet for good miso)

At least a TBL spoon of garlic (I use I use the Trader Joes frozen cubes)

Instructions

>boil water

>add ingredients starting with ginger, then miso, then garlic to taste

>add noodles, veggies, other herbs, or just sip on for the belly aches

Not The Mama

Let’s talk about motherhood. Actually, scratch that, let’s talk about opting out of motherhood. Over the years I have swayed back and forth over the idea of wanting children. Some days I think that raising children in today’s world is a futile effort. I mean the world is dying, humanity is savage, and the state of maternal healthcare in the U.S. has reached dystopian levels of terror. Yet, other times, when I am around the younger generations of my own family or spending time with my mother, marveling at the parts of her that are effortlessly woven into me, I wonder if creating a living legacy could be the most fulfilling thing I could ever do.

The truth is, I don’t take issue with either choice. What exhausts me is the idea that fulfillment is only found through motherhood. I recently came across this quote from the great Tracy Ellis Ross: “Childless women have been mothering the world and elevating culture as aunties, godmothers, teachers… you do not need to push out a baby to push humanity forward.” It brought me to tears almost instantly.

 I cannot imagine the sacrifice that motherhood is, nor can I fully grasp the beauty that is becoming a parent. However, in my childless years, I have nurtured both friends and strangers alike, I’ve created stories, businesses and ideas that have inspired others. I may not have been able to look into my child’s eyes and see my own soul, but I’ve stared deeply through a friend’s tears and encouraged them to grow.

The best part about being childless is that I’ve had the TIME and SPACE to give others the parts of myself that I might have given my own children. We celebrate career women for their sacrifices, but, childless career women are labeled as selfish. I know plenty of women who have managed both motherhood and careers, but I don’t know a single one who would say neither suffered as a result. You simply can’t do both without compromise. Even if society encouraged that duality (which it most definitely does not—just look at the lack of childcare), motherhood requires immense focus, time, and energy.

Choosing to become a mother is a righteous and beautiful decision. But isn’t opting out a significant sacrifice, too? Why isn’t it enough for women to nurture society in other ways? And how do we recognize the women who have helped us grow, even if they never became mothers themselves?

Feel free to share your thoughts down below.

As always, stay kind, babes. I’ll see you next week.

Aunt Abby’s Creamy Chicken Soup

When your niece/phew has a cold or your buddy is having a rough day

Ingredients:

Chicken breasts

Chicken broth or bouillon

Egg noodles

Fresh garlic ( I use the Trader Joe’s frozen cubes often for soups)

Yellow onion

Zucchini

Carrots

Potatoes (whichever kind you’d like even sweet would work)

Spinach

Cream cheese

Butter

Flour or Arrow root powder

Garlic powder

Onion powder

Curry powder

Mustard seed powder

Instructions:

>Prep zucchini by slicing, salting, and covering with a paper towel to draw out moisture

>Toss ½ TBS of butter, diced yellow onion, and garlic into a pan and saute until fragrant.

>Add breasts to slightly cook the outside flipping as necessary

>Add broth or bouillon and turn heat to medium heat, don’t boil!

>Begin to add spices, always start least complex or most preferred to most complex/ least preferred

>After a few minutes add chopped potatoes

>After a few more minutes toss in carrots

>Once chicken is cooked, remove and slice or pull

>Before returning chicken to pot, add cream chs and flour or arrow root powder starting with about a tbls of each to desired thickness. I opt for adding more cream cheese or even butter over more flower in most instances, this adds flavor along with thickness. However, if your broth is showing oil bubbles or seems overly fatty, flour or AR is a better choice. Ensure that your broth is a little less thick than you want it before adding the noodles as they will also add to the viscosity

>Add cooked chicken and zucchini and egg noodles

>Leave on medium to low heat until noodles and zuch are a desired texture