Friends From College

As I dove into the second season of my latest TV binge, a wave of nostalgia hit me as I watched the three main characters catch up in their college dining hall, reminiscing about their adventures from the previous night. It transported me back to my own college days, and I found myself longing for the times when so many of my friends were just around the corner. Those were the days when locked doors were only a formality, unless you were avoiding a roommate who had inconveniently misplaced their keys. They were the days of breakdowns turning into breakthroughs, chain-smoking cigarettes in the library courtyard, and spontaneous day drinking leading to silly late-night conversations and Facebook photos that mysteriously vanished when you started job hunting. The bar down the street wasn’t just a place of employment; it was where we had therapy sessions with friends every Thursday, where the kitchen still fed us even when our wallets were empty, and where we healed from our first real breakups. I yearn for those days because I crave that kind of community.

In today’s post-COVID world, maintaining such tight-knit communities becomes increasingly challenging as we age. Even before the pandemic, our adult lives didn’t offer the same level of close-knit support we experienced in college. There are more societal responsibilities and expectations as we grow older. It’s understandable—there comes a point when blacking out on a random Tuesday because the guy you thought you were dating posted another girl on Instagram isn’t an appropriate coping mechanism. Yet, the unconditional support we found in our college friendships becomes even more essential as we navigate our adult lives.

Several factors contribute to this shift. One major reason is the misalignment of our day-to-day schedules. For instance, while I’ve worked a 9-5 job for most of my adult life, my best friend manages a restaurant that only operates for dinner. Finding a day when we’re both free and without other obligations takes weeks of planning. Then there are those other obligations. Friends commit to long-term relationships that can’t be easily disregarded for spontaneous Tuesday night drinks. Then those friends have kids, and they might as well live in a distant black hole for the next 18 years unless you also have kids and those kids go to the same schools, play on the same sports teams, and have the same friends. Balancing pride in your friends' growth with the nostalgia for the friend who could drop everything for an impromptu adventure is challenging.

Whether it’s work, burgeoning families, or even rehab, personal growth sometimes forces us to leave behind our most important platonic communities. So, when those communities no longer fit perfectly into our day to day, how can we be sure to hold onto what is left of them? How can we still maintain friendships with our single girlfriends and our single-family home friends at the same time? The fact remains, our communities will grow and change through different seasons, but how can we strengthen those communities over time instead of allowing them to devolve?

Feel free to share your thoughts down below.

As always, stay kind, babes. I’ll see you next week.

Smelly Nelly Tuna Melt Sandwich

For when you need to go to the grocery store, but you can't muster up the social battery to talk to anyone.

Ingredients

-2 slices sprouted grain ezekial bread

-1 can wild albacore tuna

-A handful of baby bib lettuce

-Spicy pickles (I used the Cleveland Kitchen kimchi pickles)

-A handful of kimchi - your preference, I do not instruct kimchi preferences for I feel that kimchi brands are one of those things in life that must align with your chemistry.

-1-2 slices of a rich, sweet cheese (I used the Trader Joes truffle cheese for this version)

-Sweet and spicy fresh peppers (handpicked from my garden)

-Kewpie mayo

-Sriracha

-Spices: garlic powder, pepper, onion powder, mustard seed powder, Mother In Law's gochugaru Korean chile flakes.

Instructions

-combine kewpie mayo, chopped peppers, and tuna and mix thoroughly

-add spices to taste: I always start with the basics (GP, Pep, OP) then add my spice and lastly mustard seed to balance

-toast your bread, add cheese towards end so it gets a little melty

-assemble: add tuna mix to non-cheese side, then pickles, then lettuce, then kimchi, top with sriracha and other slice of bread.

-enjoy while in the comforting presence of your beloved pet, they're the only ones who can handle the smell.

*Disclaimer: this sandwich is not intended for the workplace, all those who participate in workplace tuna melt indulgence will be prosecuted to the highest extent of the law (straight to jail)